A Blackout was What I Needed

 "...we can forget how true relationships need real fostering done in person."

I just experienced another great flooding a few weeks ago after since my last time 10 years or so. As bad as how it should sound, it was actually not that bad. Well....it might be because my house itself was not flooded and I was fortunate enough not having to get out in the water. During the great flood, we had a blackout for almost 24 hours (and prior to that, we were powerless for around 10 hours too). I have to admit, that it might be just what I needed.

What is so great about blackouts to me, would be the inexistence of electricity itself which I think I need once in a while. During the blackout and flood, I did not hold on to my smartphones because there was no reception, no data connection and batteries were running low, so my attachment to my phones was out of the question, except for the help of lighting and a short period of entertainment. What I did mostly that day was being in the real life, as opposed to the virtual one. I am usually not extremely attached to my phones (at least I don't think so), but holding on to my phones to reply to people's messages and browse through social media platforms is a part of what I do daily. Having done this for a long time, it was too late for me to realize that I've had a shorter attention span. I get rushed, impatient, nervous and overwhelmed with notifications and having to replies people's messages.

Patience: Urgently Needed

"Rushing does not change how things are. Patience, on the other hand, can make a change to ourselves and our surrounding."

The other day I was driving on the highway from Bogor to Jakarta, I drove my car to the wrong lane, which was the GTO booth line. GTO stands for Gardu Tol Otomatis, meaning Automatic Toll Booth, where you could just beep (your prepaid toll card) and go. I am not a GTO cardholder so I had to move to the other booth to pay manually. A rather disappointing thing happened which became the inspiration of this blog post. Not a single person (car) would let me move to the other lane. Every booth had very long lines, so I had to squeeze my way in, yet no one would give me the very little space I needed. I eventually opened my window because I had caused a little bit of a traffic jam for not being able to move forward at my current lane, and gave a hand gesture, desperately asking for some space so I could squeeze into the lane. Sadly, noone was sympathetic enough. Eventually, after a few cars passed by my car which was in that diagonal trying-to-squeeze-in position which lasted for a couple of minutes, I had to force myself in aggressively and gave up on the gentle method. I got in.

Being on the road, either driving, walking or taking a bus, really awakened me of how much patience is needed by every one of us. Every people who live or have ever been in Jakarta KNOWS how much Jakarta's traffic can test your patience like no other places would! I take the bus (Transjakarta) to work every day. Taking the bus in Jakarta equals being squeezed tightly in the very literal meaning. Every time the bus door opens and closes, we tend to rush our ways to hop on or out of the bus. Yet, I totally understand the reason that happens - simply because the number of buses do not cater to the amount of passengers. Consequently, people ended up squeezing in tightly, pushing people forward, tension between passengers, getting stepped on or even falling.

Experiencing and witnessing the above on a daily basis makes me lose my rushing tendency (sometimes). I was fortunate enough to be enlightened by kind words and encouragement which led me to think that being patient is urgently needed in these situations. Think about it, does letting one or a couple of cars squeeze into your lane let you waste that much time? If we can get in and out of the bus nicely without the pushing and squeezing, won't that make our days more pleasant? Now if everyone does that, I think we will be amazed at how less stressful our days can be. I spent almost a year living in Ottawa where car drivers prioritize pedestrians and would wait for them to cross the road until they hit their gas pedal. The feeling of being appreciated is priceless. Perhaps, patience (or just a little bit of it) really is what we need, not just on the road, but also on other things as well. Rushing does not change how things are. Patience, on the other hand, can make a change to ourselves and our surrounding. Maybe that's how the quote "Keep calm and ...." got so famous? :p #randomthoughts

Book Review - Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain

                              "I would prefer to die than fail another diet.”

If you ever feel like an outsider in your life, this book is for you. If you have ever had a secret that kills you from the inside, this book is for you. If you are or have ever been obsessed and struggling with body image, this is a must-read for you.

In her book Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain, Portia de Rossi, an Australian actress best known for her role as lawyer Nelle Porter on the American TV series Ally McBeal and the wife of the popular talk show host Ellen DeGeneres, pours out her past turmoil, in which she struggled with anorexia and her secret of being a gay. It is a record of one’s heartbreaking past that cannot be more honest and emotional.

Portia first started her modeling career when she was 12. When the other kids were cramming themselves with books preparing for school exams, she was struggling to shed as many pounds off her body. “Rough” would be the word to describe her childhood. Her father died when she was only 9. Her friends called her names because of her big legs, and she ended up constantly comparing herself to other kids and had never been satisfied with her looks. When she went to a modeling agency, they told her to lie about her measurements to get more modeling jobs. From then on, she decided to be on a strict diet in order to land more jobs. Sadly, it resulted in her irrational craze to get an impossible amount of weight off her body. “After the diet, I’d do the job, I’d binge, and then I’d have a few days to get the weight off before I did the next job.” Portia kept a daily calorie intake below 300 (women are advised to eat a minimum of 1,200 calories per day to avoid nutritional deficiencies) and kept record of her weight on a wall. The numbers kept declining until she weighed only 82 pounds (she was 170 cm tall) when she was found collapsed on the set of a Hollywood film. “I would prefer to die than fail another diet.”